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Honestly, I ‘m quiet confued with what my situation is. My whole life I was always so bubbly and exited to be social. I’d talk to anyone about anything at any given moment and enjoy it. Pretty extroverted in a sense, but a year ago I came to a point in my life where I isolated myself from people for a few months, no physical contact with anyone other than my family and my bestfriend (ocasionally I’d hang out with 2 other people but that haulted after a while) so I found myself growing paranoid.. Kind of in a state of psycosis as well, still recovering. I was also placed under severe depression and developed anixety.. Well, after that I found it really hard to talk to anyone, I got really nervous and the thoughts that ran through my head about myself kept me from saying anything. I convinced myself that everyone hated me or found me awkward or annoying and that I was better left alone.. So now I find myself wanting to be alone and finding comfort in being isolated for some periods of time. Under certain situations, like when I smoke pot around people, I get really bad anxiety.. I start to shake and negative thoughts run through my head, but I can go out and be soial when I have to be and live a normal life, I just prefer my own company over others. I seem to be leaning more toward the introverted trait than extrovert.. Is it possible for your personality to switch due to certain situations? Or just in different periods of your life? I know its possible to be both intro/extro but I never really understood how a personality could just flop?
IC: Hi! Thank you for your message, this is actually really interesting and I have seen a lot of similar situations. Just recently I was working with a girl who described herself as an introvert but was loud and social and outgoing and loved people. At the time a few friends and I were like, yeah okay introvert sure, but now that I’ve thought about it, it makes sense. Being an introvert doesn’t mean you don’t like people, it means you need more ‘me’ time than extroverts. Introverts thrive on one-on-one or close situations/relationships whereas extroverts thrive in large groups with lots of people. You can enjoy people and be excited and have fun and still need time away to recharge, it’s very possible that you have always been an introvert, but your recent depression/anxiety has pulled you away from your need/want of being social and exacerbated your introversion.
I can relate in that sense, as I have just been diagnosed with major depression and anxiety and have started medications for it. I did not realize how much of my social life was depleted until the medications started kicking in and I was able to hold conversations and speak up and give my opinions without being absolutely terrified. Suddenly I remember how to enjoy others company, how to make friends, how to open up to other people, etc.. Whereas before I thought I was fine with my 3 friends and avoiding all people all the time with a permanent bitch face.
Ultimately, every person is different. We have labels and boxes for everything, but the world is hardly so neat. Just do whatever makes you happy and if sometimes that means alone time then alone time it is.
If you are able, I would suggest getting help for your depression/anxiety and avoid recreational drugs that make the negative feelings worse. It sucks, I know it all sucks and it’s very hard to deal with, but life continues on and depression is that needy friend who holds you back from your potential because they’re too scared. Sometimes you have to let those friends go in order to realize that they were never actually your friends in the first place and that they were only hurting you.
Hope this kind of answered your question!
Introverts don’t get lonely if they don’t socialize with a lot of people, but we do get lonely if we don’t have intimate interactions on a regular basis.
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Question with 7 notes
justifyinghumanity asked: Hi um, I rlly like this guy and I told him I think he's handsome and want to get to know him, but he's very introverted. How might I go about getting to know him?
Same way you do with normal people and ask him if he wants to hang out some time. If you want to make it is lower pressure situation, arrange to do an activity together so you don’t have to focus on making conversation the whole time.
But general dating advice like talking to the„ figure out if you have similar interests, and then arrange to do something fun together should work.
Edit from Megan: Just talk to him. Seriously, introverts can be shy but if you pay attention to us we’ll come out of our little shells. You might have to be a bit proactive until he gets comfortable with you, but it should be worth it.
why does tumblr always personify introversion as a tiny cute girl who drinks tea reads books and wears sweaters like i’m a 190 pound man who hangs out in the gym and in the woods doin manly shit but people still make me nervous like damn
my hand slipped.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS
Post with 51 notes
Under the cut in case you want to scroll past. These are some hard learned lessons from my first two years as an adult.
Post with 40 notes
Major in something useful that you enjoy and find satisfying. It may not be your passion, but if your passion is really your passion, you will still find ways to work it into your life.
Develop a useful skill that you can prove you have to potential employers. It is a good way to get your foot in the door when you are trying for your first couple of jobs. That fact that you have no experience will make you a risky investment for an employer, so it is good to be able to prove you are going to be useful to them, even if it is just doing all the drafting no one else wants to do.
I know this is not as glamorous as ‘Follow your heart and life with fall into place’ but unless you have someone supporting you so you can do what you love for free until it becomes a career, if ever, you are going to need a skill that makes you useful to someone else to support yourself.
And I meant what I said about find something fun and satisfying. A job that you hate will only bring you down. Try to find a job where at the end of the day, you can be proud of what you have done and where 75% of the time you like being at work.
It is a rough job market out there, good luck!
Question with 10 notes
Anonymous asked: Hi! I'm in college, and I might have the chance to become an RA next year. At first, I was hesitant about applying because I thought I was too shy and reserved for the job, but I may be offered a position for next year. To be an RA, I know that I will otherwise have to "act like an extrovert" in a lot of situations, but how do I still be my introverted self in spite of being in a lot of situations where I am expected to act like an extrovert?
First of all, you don’t act like and extrovert/introvert. You are an introvert if you need alone time to recharge and an extrovert if you recharge around others. If you are being quiet and shy, you are being quiet and shy.
What you are really talking about are social skills and endurance in social situations.
If you have a chance to figure this out now, do it. The ability to be social and friendly even when you are freaking tired and have been socializing for a long time is something that only becomes more important. It sucks, but it is part of being a successful adult.
So socializing and putting up with people is hard, but gets easier the more you do it. Try to keep a positive attitude, especially on long days, and smile, it makes people more cheerful. Generally be friendly.
Now, where being an introvert comes into this, know where where your limits are when it comes to dealing with people and give yourself time to recharge. Maybe you have an hour after dinner where you read a book and unwind, if you know you have a big meeting coming up, spend some time alone beforehand if you can. Also, if you know you are going to have a long day of socializing ahead of you, get enough sleep. It helps a lot.
And then come the days that are a never ending parade of people you want to deal with, learn how to stay positive and tough it out. This will happen, and it sucks, but being able to stay positive even when you are done socializing for the day is tough but important.
Also mentally accepting that you are going to be dealing with people helps me.
Long story short, use this as an opportunity to work on your social skills, build up your tolerance for people, and learn how to balance your need for alone time with your responsibilities.
There is no one way that works for everyone, but it is something we all have to learn to balance.
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Whenever there has been too much of socialising, school or whatever requires social interaction I pretty much retire, reading stuff on the internet, books, playing video games, play guitar at home until I feel like socialising again. Sometimes I get mad because of my lack of social life even though it´s me myself who wants solitude.
Do you want a social life because it looks cool or because you are actually lonely?
Figure out why you are angry that you don’t have a social life but love solitude. If you are using solitude as a way to avoid getting close to people or putting yourself out there, maybe take steps to socialize more and try building one up.
If you are mad because you don’t have something that society tells you you should have, even though you are happy without one, then learn to let it got and define happiness for yourself, don’t let others tell you what should make you happy.
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